Spent most of yesterday post-driving lesson being majorly pissed off about said lesson and instructor. Woke up still feeling pissed off. JFC, with everything else that is going on in my life, I don't need this to be a source of shit as well.
She spent ten minutes at the start telling me about her personal circumstances -- she's pregnant and looking to finish working by February -- and trying to ditch me, basically. She's already declaring I won't be ready by then, after THREE lessons, and trying to push the idea that I should switch to her replacement she's arranging sooner rather than later. I thought later made more sense, since then I could get all the basics down first rather than interrupt things when I'm just getting familiar with them.
Retrospectively I'm pretty sure she wants rid now and just doesn't want to teach me. I'm pretty sure it makes no sense to push switching at the current time for my sake.
So, ten minutes wasted already. She drove us to a very nearby estate, not like the places that have been a good ten minutes out on previous occasions. She has always included this time, and the time to do her notes at the end, in the hour that I'm paying for.
We went through the processes of turning corners and junctions in her book, which took a few more minutes. More than was necessary, tbh, because she insists on me echoing back basic fucking obvious information and treating me like a child rather than someone with a competent intellect. Then we put in some time doing turns. Went fine.
Then, she stops me EIGHTEEN minutes before the end of the hour, and says we're going back. We haven't done junctions yet, which we covered at the start of the lesson in the book. I am very much wtf what is happening and puzzled about this and although I don't say anything, I would think visibly surprised that we are wrapping up now.
It takes ~5 minutes or less to drive back to my place, where she sits to do her little dissection in her workbook, which consists as always of telling me where I was shit at things in the same breath as sideways comments on my confidence and suggesting in various ways that I'm a slow learner. All of which she sits and waits for me to agree with before she'll move the discussion onward, in a way that really winds me up.
I said that I didn't feel I did very much this week, compared to say last week. I questioned why we hadn't done junctions. She gets all defensive and starts going on about too many cars being parked by the side of the road, so that I'd find it difficult at my level of skill. In various back and forth she comes out with something about "well, we can drive on the big roads next week if you like" -- which is blatant taunting/mockery knowing that I don't want to do that, aren't ready to do that, and is clearly only meant for me to have to say no and take me down a peg. Then despite having said that the reason we didn't do junctions was a physical one, she leaves off on "well, we can only progress as quickly as you can learn" -- yet AGAIN giving me sideways shit about calling me slow.
Cue me spending the rest of the day in a rage because I'm paying £24/hour to someone who doesn't give me an hour of their time -- probably about 45 minutes this week, if it hadn't been for the Great Debate -- and mostly returns that in belittlements while simultaneously implying that my lack of confidence is the biggest problem.
I'm pretty much at the conclusion she wants rid of me and wants me to go to her replacement. And for me? Fine, she's won. This is bullshit. I'm sick and tired of her. The actual physical instruction part while I'm driving, I'm very comfortable with and loath to switch, but it's not worth it for the shit I get in the dissection of the lesson at the end, her lack of support and confidence and respect for me, and the fact that she isn't even giving me the fucking hour I'm paying for.