roseveare: (Default)
([personal profile] roseveare May. 7th, 2017 10:33 am)
Pondering the fics I have on the to-edit pile and in drafts at the moment. I haven't, at this point, finished a story in about 6 months. Both the ones I wrote at the end of last year were coloured by my RL situation. I do wonder how obvious it was that White Noise was about my depression at losing everyone at once, although I also really like that fic and found writing it very comforting. But the other one was dross because I was supposed to be writing something non-miserable, and everything I write in the immediate future is going to be coloured by the same things. It isn't going to hurt the original novel about death and resurrection of my main character (though that's still untouched since Nano) and it's not going to hurt House of Mara #3, which I've picked at in recent weeks, but there were things I'd planned to do that were intended to be more cheerful and I don't know when I'll be in a place where it's possible to reach that kind of tone again in writing. In fact, it might be better to go the cathartic route as in White Noise and get to some darker places if I decide to write, and ditch planned ideas for the time being.

At the moment, though, nothing much is happening at all. I think the next move is to try and edit something to post, but it's only a case of picking at it in tiny bursts, right now, because my concentration and impetus are shot. Getting back into fandom would probably be better for me than not, though, given the amount of time I'm spending alone.

In practice, I'm equally likely to start something like massive podfic readings of things I never planned to podfic (Great Stores, Great Choices, case in point) and then abandon it, instead of focusing. Argh. Nothing's really working at the moment; the family I have left are busy being dysfunctional and deliberately isolating themselves, my social options seem to cost money that I need to be saving to spend on a house that needs roof repairs and a new central heating system. I've started spending a lot of time reading fiction books again, which I hadn't really done for a few years now, but I'm not altogether sure that it's healthy in the context, above fandom pursuits which at least have the interactive element. Though it doesn't really help that LJ's fandom component seems to have combusted.

Meh, I say. Meh.
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