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Shortfic for the new Tumblr Haven fic prompt community here, which I am posting on Dreamwidth because I already have limited internet access at the moment and Tumblr apparently hates me today.
Title: Penance via Pizza
Author: roseveare
Rating: PG
Words: ~980
Characters: Nathan, Duke, Dave, ‘Lexie’
Prompt #1: Person A drunk dialling HPD in an attempt to order pizza.
Summary: In which Nathan gets a new job. Set season 4 after ‘The New Girl’.
-----
Penance via Pizza
“...Long day, huh? So, how’s it going with Lexie?” Duke asked, shifting his butt where he’d just planted it on Nathan’s desk to find the comfortable spot. Possibly the comfortable spot had been worn there by his butt. There was something to be said for having the old familiar desk in Nathan’s old office back again, Audrey’s office, like it was also a more well-worn space. But hardly worth the circumstances.
Nathan sighed with a tone that said everything, really, and having done that, didn’t bother to say anything. Okay... Well, ‘Lexie’ wasn’t at her desk, so the story behind that could be anything. Duke was starting to wonder how far Audrey was going to take this.
“Yeah, I heard you two were up dealing with Maggie Cressell’s Trouble today, which, uh, poison-excreting skin sounds like a Trouble I feel truly privileged to have missed out on. I’ll tell Jennifer so she can feel lucky that way, too. Then again, maybe that’s not such--”
The phone on Nathan’s desk rang and he picked it up. “Haven Police Department, Na--” He stopped as an agitated, slightly high voice that was vaguely familiar assaulted the line, loud enough that it reached Duke’s ears. Duke started to laugh and caught his breath, choking silently while Nathan’s eyes narrowed and glared. “Pepperoni?” he mouthed.
“I said Haven Police Department,” Nathan said, dourly, still looking at Duke. “Not Haven Pizza. Sir.”
“Of course you have pizza!” the voice on the other end of the line retorted. “You’re Haven Pizza. It’s all in the name. I’ve spent my whole life working with words, and let me tell you, you – you can’t get around that one, sonny. Now, as I was saying, I’d like an extra large pepperoni and my brother – my brother’s on a vegetarian kick again, he wants grilled vegetables.” The voice tsked. “Do you even do such a wretched thing as a grilled vegetable pizza? Sounds like an invention of the Devil for sure.”
“Wait... is that Dave?” Nathan asked. “Dave Teagues?”
“...Nathan? What are you doing working at the fast food joint? I know you fell on hard times, but--”
Duke sank his teeth into his knuckles.
“--If I’d known it was this bad... Really? Isn’t Dwight paying you anymore? I suppose all things considered you’re working off a debt, but surely that’s one indignity too far. Nathan, Nathan, don’t worry. I’ll speak to Dwight in the morning. Vince, too, if he has any part in this. We’ll see you properly taken care of...”
“DAVE!” Nathan barked. He threw a variety of small stationary items from his desk at Duke, as Duke slid off the desk, bent double clutching his middle, and staggered around to avoid the barrage, hoping he wasn’t going to actually expire or bite through his own hand before he heard how this wrapped up. “I’m not working at Haven Pizza, Dave. You rang Haven P.D.! Have you been drinking?”
“Pizza is the perfect accompaniment to most beverages,” Dave responded, with great dignity. “Let no-one say I’m not a connoisseur. Wait, what was that? If you’re not working at the pizza joint, Nathan, why’re you answering their phone?! Put--put Robert on and stop wasting my time!” He made a choked noise and asked, far more tremulously and hushed. “No... he... he didn’t fall victim to Maggie’s Trouble too?”
Nathan sighed and stopped pelting Duke to lean over his desk, resting his forehead on his palm and cradling the phone almost tenderly against his ear. “No, Dave, it’s alright. Robert’s fine, everyone but Hettie and Lee are fine. It... was bad up there today, wasn’t it?”
“We have to cover the stories,” Dave said, indistinctly, sounding like he was speaking past a lump in his throat. “Even if we – don’t necessarily write the truth about the stories. We cover them. No-one else will.”
Duke’s mirth had evaporated, leaving him cold. He leaned on Nathan’s desk again and meandered his gaze awkwardly around the room.
Dave, on the phone, huffed a breath. “Now, about that pizza--”
“Dave,” Nathan groaned. “You rang me. Haven P.D. You can’t order pizza from the police station.”
There was a few moments of silence. Duke leaned forward and squinted at the phone.
“...Aw, do a fellow a favour, Nathan,” Dave wheedled.
“Huh?” Nathan asked blankly.
“You owe Haven, Nathan, that’s plain and true. It wouldn’t take much for you to--”
Duke wasn’t quite in time to slap his hand over his mouth before a burst of laughter escaped and he ducked from Nathan’s hurled sticky tape dispenser. “I do not owe Haven to provide you with fast food, Dave!” Nathan exploded.
Duke waggled his hand for attention and Nathan covered the mouthpiece and mouthed “What?”
“Take his order,” Duke said. “Food’s been slow at the Gull since Wade let that side of the business run right down. So long as the Teagues are willing to pay...”
“Fine,” Nathan growled. “Okay, okay, Dave. This is Duke doing this for you, so you know. I don’t care what I did, I’m not your delivery boy... What do you want, again?”
He was going through jotting the order down as he muttered Dave’s words back to him as Lexie... Lexdry walked in, swigging from a hip flask. She’d evidently tried to clean herself up best she could, but her clothes had a few spotted patches that looked like they’d been melted by acid and she’d missed a sticky streak of blood – presumably someone else’s – in the back of her long hair.
“Ooh!” she jumped up on her toes when she heard Nathan’s disgruntled mutterings and skittered across to his desk. “Nathan!” She waggled her ring-decked hands between his nose and the paper. “Hey, you numb dope! If you’re ordering pizza, I’m in.”
Title: Penance via Pizza
Author: roseveare
Rating: PG
Words: ~980
Characters: Nathan, Duke, Dave, ‘Lexie’
Prompt #1: Person A drunk dialling HPD in an attempt to order pizza.
Summary: In which Nathan gets a new job. Set season 4 after ‘The New Girl’.
-----
Penance via Pizza
“...Long day, huh? So, how’s it going with Lexie?” Duke asked, shifting his butt where he’d just planted it on Nathan’s desk to find the comfortable spot. Possibly the comfortable spot had been worn there by his butt. There was something to be said for having the old familiar desk in Nathan’s old office back again, Audrey’s office, like it was also a more well-worn space. But hardly worth the circumstances.
Nathan sighed with a tone that said everything, really, and having done that, didn’t bother to say anything. Okay... Well, ‘Lexie’ wasn’t at her desk, so the story behind that could be anything. Duke was starting to wonder how far Audrey was going to take this.
“Yeah, I heard you two were up dealing with Maggie Cressell’s Trouble today, which, uh, poison-excreting skin sounds like a Trouble I feel truly privileged to have missed out on. I’ll tell Jennifer so she can feel lucky that way, too. Then again, maybe that’s not such--”
The phone on Nathan’s desk rang and he picked it up. “Haven Police Department, Na--” He stopped as an agitated, slightly high voice that was vaguely familiar assaulted the line, loud enough that it reached Duke’s ears. Duke started to laugh and caught his breath, choking silently while Nathan’s eyes narrowed and glared. “Pepperoni?” he mouthed.
“I said Haven Police Department,” Nathan said, dourly, still looking at Duke. “Not Haven Pizza. Sir.”
“Of course you have pizza!” the voice on the other end of the line retorted. “You’re Haven Pizza. It’s all in the name. I’ve spent my whole life working with words, and let me tell you, you – you can’t get around that one, sonny. Now, as I was saying, I’d like an extra large pepperoni and my brother – my brother’s on a vegetarian kick again, he wants grilled vegetables.” The voice tsked. “Do you even do such a wretched thing as a grilled vegetable pizza? Sounds like an invention of the Devil for sure.”
“Wait... is that Dave?” Nathan asked. “Dave Teagues?”
“...Nathan? What are you doing working at the fast food joint? I know you fell on hard times, but--”
Duke sank his teeth into his knuckles.
“--If I’d known it was this bad... Really? Isn’t Dwight paying you anymore? I suppose all things considered you’re working off a debt, but surely that’s one indignity too far. Nathan, Nathan, don’t worry. I’ll speak to Dwight in the morning. Vince, too, if he has any part in this. We’ll see you properly taken care of...”
“DAVE!” Nathan barked. He threw a variety of small stationary items from his desk at Duke, as Duke slid off the desk, bent double clutching his middle, and staggered around to avoid the barrage, hoping he wasn’t going to actually expire or bite through his own hand before he heard how this wrapped up. “I’m not working at Haven Pizza, Dave. You rang Haven P.D.! Have you been drinking?”
“Pizza is the perfect accompaniment to most beverages,” Dave responded, with great dignity. “Let no-one say I’m not a connoisseur. Wait, what was that? If you’re not working at the pizza joint, Nathan, why’re you answering their phone?! Put--put Robert on and stop wasting my time!” He made a choked noise and asked, far more tremulously and hushed. “No... he... he didn’t fall victim to Maggie’s Trouble too?”
Nathan sighed and stopped pelting Duke to lean over his desk, resting his forehead on his palm and cradling the phone almost tenderly against his ear. “No, Dave, it’s alright. Robert’s fine, everyone but Hettie and Lee are fine. It... was bad up there today, wasn’t it?”
“We have to cover the stories,” Dave said, indistinctly, sounding like he was speaking past a lump in his throat. “Even if we – don’t necessarily write the truth about the stories. We cover them. No-one else will.”
Duke’s mirth had evaporated, leaving him cold. He leaned on Nathan’s desk again and meandered his gaze awkwardly around the room.
Dave, on the phone, huffed a breath. “Now, about that pizza--”
“Dave,” Nathan groaned. “You rang me. Haven P.D. You can’t order pizza from the police station.”
There was a few moments of silence. Duke leaned forward and squinted at the phone.
“...Aw, do a fellow a favour, Nathan,” Dave wheedled.
“Huh?” Nathan asked blankly.
“You owe Haven, Nathan, that’s plain and true. It wouldn’t take much for you to--”
Duke wasn’t quite in time to slap his hand over his mouth before a burst of laughter escaped and he ducked from Nathan’s hurled sticky tape dispenser. “I do not owe Haven to provide you with fast food, Dave!” Nathan exploded.
Duke waggled his hand for attention and Nathan covered the mouthpiece and mouthed “What?”
“Take his order,” Duke said. “Food’s been slow at the Gull since Wade let that side of the business run right down. So long as the Teagues are willing to pay...”
“Fine,” Nathan growled. “Okay, okay, Dave. This is Duke doing this for you, so you know. I don’t care what I did, I’m not your delivery boy... What do you want, again?”
He was going through jotting the order down as he muttered Dave’s words back to him as Lexie... Lexdry walked in, swigging from a hip flask. She’d evidently tried to clean herself up best she could, but her clothes had a few spotted patches that looked like they’d been melted by acid and she’d missed a sticky streak of blood – presumably someone else’s – in the back of her long hair.
“Ooh!” she jumped up on her toes when she heard Nathan’s disgruntled mutterings and skittered across to his desk. “Nathan!” She waggled her ring-decked hands between his nose and the paper. “Hey, you numb dope! If you’re ordering pizza, I’m in.”
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