Jordan McKee and a very belated episode reaction post

[roseveare]

It is Jordan McKee Appreciation Week on Tumblr, and since Tumblr hates me and would not post my image set but only a mangled version of it, I will attempt to put it here.



It's funny how I've had so much trouble articulating anything about the death of a fictional character.

I walked away from the episode that ended in Jordan's death that Saturday morning and spent the rest of the day in a daze. I kept seeing those final few minutes of the episode over and over in my head. The next day, too, and it didn't really go away for about a week. This, and I was wholly and utterly expecting Jordan to die. I'd seen it coming all season, and I hadn't originally thought she'd be back for season 4 but I didn't have that reaction to 3.13. So I'm not sure what proportion it was the build-up in season 4 or the manner it eventually happened that stunned me more, but it's certainly true that a character I had a great deal more empathy with than for most on my TV screen got one of the most painful, drawn-out, violent deaths I can think of.

I didn't write down any of this in response, but instead spent that week writing such a violent fanfiction I haven't dared link to it in full on Tumblr because I think I would die on the spot if Kate Kelton reblogged a fic where, in one segment, Jordan rape/tortures a cured Nathan to death, trying to exorcise my feelings and articulate my thoughts about Jordan's demise in the best fashion that worked for me. I'm still pretty happy that fic exists. It pretty much couldn't have been written at any other time than the week I wrote it.